Thoughts after my presentation

Feedback from my presentation given last week confirmed my own recognition that I need to channel my ideas, work out what it is that really gets me, and where I position myself within this project.
-What do I mean by nature? Is it nature that really interests me here? I don't mean using natural materials so much, it's more about the importance of place. Do I mean site-specific performance? (look at Nick Kaye)
-I talked about the bringing of the outside in - but why? Do I not lose some of the original magic? Is it a half-hearted attempt, based on the fear of what can go wrong with outdoor performance?
- Maybe it's the symbol of nature rather than nature itself.....the associations, and meanings it can convey, particularly the tree as a symbol here.
- Isn't this a nostalgic view of nature? What about it as a force to be reckoned with...

I think on reflection, that what really gets me inside, what I want to focus on, is all about the importance of certain places to human beings, the associations and memories this can conjure up, and trying to convey this feeling to an audience. For me "nature" as a theme came about after my time spent living in New Zealand last year. I lived in a very rural, quite remote community, on farm land. From my cottage, no other buildings could be seen. I looked out every morning to see sheep staring back at me, and turkeys slept the night on my fence. It was idyllic, but certainly at times, isolating. I developed a relationship with the land, my job out there as a grapepicker bringing me in to physical contact with it. Through this repetive, mundane action of snipping the grapes and dropping them in to a bucket, day in day out, for several months, in all weathers, I achieved a state of peace. It was in these times, in between easy small-talk with the other grapepickers (if only I could show you some of these characters!), that I would think about the next step, what I was going to do next. I remember the specific moment, the exact vine I was standing by, when I decided to do this course.
And now back in England, living in London, I have a completely different life - it's urban, jam-packed, fast-paced - I have not seen a field for months. It's another side of me. Looking back at a year ago, my personal space then, and the space I live in now are polar opposites, totally untangible. How do I recreate that feeling? How do I retain a sense of that space here in London?

"Birds flying high you know how I feel,
Sun in the sky you know how I feel,
Reeds drifting on by you know how I feel,
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me,
and I'm feeling good."